Mental Models w/ Peter Wang. September 4th, 11th, 18th, and 25th. 10:00 AM ET. RSVP here.
Newly posted event:
Where is God Now? Fugitivity as a Theo-Politics of Encounter in Times of Trouble w/ Bayo Akomolafe. September 8th. 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.
September 3, 2020
At the moment I am feeling weak in the body but strong in the heart, with a desire for readiness in both. It is time to start being ready. I got something on my hands here, and it is time to support a new life.
I am glad gyms have opened up again because I want to lift heavy things again. My muscles have atrophied lifting these baby weights that I own. I used to go to a bodybuilding gym, and I miss being around these giant steroid monsters grunting in what sounds like reckless mating calls. Sounds like that keep a man on guard.
It is time to get some existential swagger back, and I want it to be deserved. That big swinging daemon energy ain't free. This Stoic daddy has to get disciplined. Up at 5:30 AM, everyday, like the good ol' days. I am down with that “own the morning, own the day” shit—enough of this summer doldrum-induced indulgence. The sun is fun and all, but sober is noble, and nothing beats making an espresso first thing in the morning, and sitting down here to bleed real with you.
I sense it is critical to find a daily rhythm now, and keep it. Writing to myself is my favorite practice in my ecology of practices. The content here is less important, it is the process that is important. The process of writing truthfully to myself keeps me tethered to truth, and the muscle I am working out is the muscle of truthfulness, and no reckless mating calls are required for that.
I also think these journals are serving as an opportunity to think out loud in an intimate way, at the edge of my thinking, about what The Stoa is and what it wants to be. This is actually a cool entrepreneurial practice, because you get to think slow, when things are fast. You also get to receive feedback, and to earn the trust of people who are called to read your words.
I received some good feedback on the situation mentioned yesterday, about the person who thinks their wisdom is being divinely channeled. Someone suggested having community protocols in place, which will help exclude someone from this space when the values of the space have been transgressed.
I should do this but I feel resistance in doing this. The cowboy energy of this project probably has something to do with that. Stoic cowboys do not have time to write down community standards or value statements, but maybe it is time to stop being a Stoic cowboy, and actually start being a Stoic daddy.
I am sympathetic to this individual who thinks his wisdom is being channeled, as I recently felt something was being channeled through me. This happened at the beginning of this project, and my madness got documented in these journals. There was a sense of having a deep knowingness during that phase.
I think the difference though, compared to this individual, was that my map of reality was unwritten, so the somatic knowingness which felt channelled was coupled with a cognitive unknowingness. A delicious mix that Socrates himself had. I sense philosophizing to myself here prevented the sense of knowingness from fully colonizing my mind.
Okay. Stoic daddy time. I hear no one is really ready to be a dad, and I really want to be a dad, and Camille and I are hopeful that one day this will happen. In the meantime, it is time to wake early, lift heavy, and lay down some rules.
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