Two Motivations Dancing

Tomorrow’s events:

  • Collective Journaling w/ Peter Limberg. Daily @ 8:00 AM ET. Patreon event. 90 mins.

  • Collective Presencing w/ Ria Baeck and Co-Hosts. Every Friday @ 8:00 AM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.

  • Collective Presencing w/ Ria Baeck and Co-Hosts. Every Friday @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here. 90 mins.

Newly posted events:

  • The Politics of Waking Up: Power and Possibility in the Fractal Age w/ Indra Adnan. June 22nd @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

  • I, Nietzsche w/ Fenne Lily. June 23rd @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

  • The Elusive I w/ John Vervaeke, Gregg Henriques, and Christopher Mastropietro. June 24th @ 6:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

  • Finding the Elders w/ Stephen Jenkinson. July 6th @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

  • The Implementation Gap w/ Puru the Guru. July 7th @ 10:00 AM ET. RSVP here.

  • A Campfire at a Stoa About Coming HOME From a Dark Mountain w/ Dougald Hine. July 8th @ 2:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

  • Stoicism and the Tactical Athlete: Through Suffering to Peak Performance w/ Alex Butt. July 13th @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

  • HR Bullshit w/ Dave Snowden. July 15th @ 12:00 PM ET. RSVP here.

An event to (maybe) get excited about:

  • The Future of the Left w/ Noam Chomsky and Natalie Wynn (ContraPoints). June 28th @ 6:00 PM ET. Patreon event. 60 mins.

Noam Chomsky and Natalie Wynn (ContraPoints) return to The Stoa to have a conversation about the future of the left.

***

June 17th, 2021

Write something deep to catch their eyes, so they do not look away, then write in a way that will make them want to stay, and make them want to come back for more, and more, and more...

More of what though? 

I was indeed hoping to open this journal today with something that would deeply catch your eyes. I want to push aside this urge though, because I sense this urge is coming from an unpleasant place. I will try to describe what this place is, but I am going to give myself a moment to sense into what this place is, because I want to get the words right …

Yeah, okay, this is the place: a fear of becoming irrelevant. The Stoa, and these journals, are relevant, at least in my mind, and the fear speaks to me like this:

If you do not do more—like post hype events or journal here—The Stoa and you will become irrelevant. People will no longer support you, show up to sessions, watch videos on YouTube, or read these journals. So, you better do something soon buddy.

Am I writing here now because of this? Am I simply writing here to appease the fear? No, not entirely. I sense that would be an uncharitable assessment towards my own motivational schema, and besides, I am not a motivational reductionist kind of guy. 

There are at least two motivations dancing right now, and they are currently competing to win over each word. One motivation is this fear thing, and the other is something else, and that something else is burning. I am going to give the fear thing some attention first, because he is being a little needy for it right now. 

Alright, Mr. Fear, talk to me. Why do you want me to be relevant?

Wrong question.

Ah, right. Why do you not want me to be irrelevant?

So you do not lose attention in a way that hurts. 

Hm. Can you double click on that “in a way that hurts” line?

There is nothing worse than you giving your all, then finding people start fading away from you. You have had that happen before, and you know what that feels like.

So, you are attempting to protect me from the pain that comes from people fading away from me?

Yes.

Ah. I see. This warms my heart, you having my back like this. Thanks, bro.

You're welcome, bro. 

I’ll pause this inquiry with Mr. Fear. I feel warmer towards him now, and less antagonistic. I talk to my emotional states like this often, and usually attempt to charm them, like I am attempting to charm you right now. I do not think this charm is coming solely out of fear though.

It partly is, and I want to honor that. Yeah, of course I do not want people to just fade away. That shit hurts real bad. Like Mr. Fear said above, it happened to me before, and it was socially traumatic, which inspired me to learn all this social skill stuff, so that kind of social rejection would not happen to me again.

It is probably why I gravitated to Stoicism in the first place. To give zero fucks about people fading away from me. There is a failure mode of Stoicism though, or said more accurately: there is a failure mode of attempting to do Stoicism. If you do it wrong you become a “counterdependent,” which can be contrasted to a codependent.

The codependent loses themself in the other, and the counterdependent loses themself in the self. At the extremes, a counterdependent can become narcissistic, and perhaps even cool. They could also just stay Stoic in the wrong way, which is the way in where they protect themselves from being abandoned by others by never needing the others.

You can get good at this, but man oh man, does the existential loneliness shine bright when you attempt this, and perhaps this is why The Stoa has been shining bright, at least for me. I could now do some aikido moves with the fear, and put fear in its place, while allowing it to save face, but that does not feel like the right move right now.

The other motivational thing that is here, and which is encouraging me to be here, wants to speak now. That thing is Mr. Daemon of course. So without further ado, I’ll welcome him to the stage, aka the journaling page…

What up, bro?

Hey, I am doing well. Missed ya. 

Missed ya too. So, a question for you: why are you asking me to write right now? 

You may find out.

Aw, man. So, a tease answer? 

Yeah. A tease answer is just a test of character though, because the question I want to ask is this: can a Stoic roll with the unknown, and be in the adventure, without a guarantee?

Hm.

And besides, art does not need to justify itself. You already know this though, hence why you agreed to be here in the first place.

He is right, I did agree, and man, his seduction game is tight. Something to take inspiration from, and to learn from, especially if we are going to seduce the culture.

***

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